Well...This Sucks

Hey Everyone, hope you're all doing well. However, I hope the title has given you some warning, though.

So, I'm writing late at night. Which could be a good or bad thing. We'll find out soon enough.

Anyhow, it's been a while since I've written. I keep saying that I'll get better at it, but let's face it, I'm more attention deficit than a goldfish. I'm distracted by food and shiny things. As of late though, I've been missing my ADD. But it's not because I'm on Ritalin or anything like that. More important things have occupied my time.

Since my Mom has been sick, I've needed to leave my job at the HUB, much earlier than I had expected. While her surgery went well, a lot of underlying medical conditions have flared up. This has somewhat put her out of commission. However, this could not have happened at a worse time. The reason I say that is because she is a small business owner, who happened to have taken a hard hit with the economic downturn. When she can't work, the household cannot make money, and the bills fall on my Dad. He is already working two jobs, and considering he's 57, he can't do it all anymore. So...I'll be honest, my parents are kinda struggling, and they definitely need help. And I really can't allow that to happen in my mind.

Another thing that has plagued my mind is the ineptitude of the UMass Amherst Financial Aid Department to get it together. First, I'm promised most of my money for school. Then, they hold up my aid package for 6 weeks so they could "verify" me. I finally got an idea for my aid package at the end of July. And the Bursar bill was due two weeks later. So, my Dad applies for the Direct Plus loan, since UMass tells me I'm short $18,000. Yeah, That was a kick to the rhetorical nuts. But, it gets better.
When my Dad applied for the Direct Plus, the University accepted it, and I thought I was all set, since it covered the cost of attendance. Well...the federal government told us that it was not approved, and that I only got $5,000 out of the deal.

Well, then I was told to apply for private loans. I did. But, I needed a co-signer (or two) to apply for the loans, as a 690 credit score was not good enough to apply for one on my own. For most people this is not a problem, but when everyone in your family has crappier credit than you, it's a big ass problem.

My Dad at this point is dealing with financial aid, as I'm nearly having veins explode out of my forehead (think Klingon). After dealing with a (insert politically incorrect slur here) student worker who refused to transfer the call, my parents call the Bursar's Office today (I never thought I would ever say this, but they've been the nicer people to work with in this whole debacle. And they're the money collectors). While they definitely tried to help, they were quite honest: since the funding had been cut and alumni donations had not met expectations, students were not getting the money they deserved, and the University couldn't provide for it. They could only offer two options: Find a co-signer, or do a payment plan of $1,200 a month.

Considering that my parents already have it really tight, I couldn't let them to do a payment plan of $1,200. I think Wells Fargo and the power company would like to get paid. And there are a select few people I would even consider asking to co-sign. Hell, my sister co-signed for a loan last year for me. The only reason I was able to deal with it was because it had an option to start paying it off while in school. And as of next month, she'll be released from the responsibility of being a co-signer. Let's put it this way: I don't like borrowing things from people. Then I feel like I owe them something. Don't ask, it's a pet peeve of mine.

So, as of today, I put my college career on hold. I can't afford to go to school right now, it's evident. Besides, I'd like to help the people who raised me. I can't allow my mom to go out to a chicken coop when she should be resting and healing (even though I think she'll do what she wants).

So...I think the title of this post is self-explanatory. I mean, I only figure out  two weeks out from move-in that I'm not going to school. I think other people would be pissed too.  Then again, it's better I found out now. All I have to say is God Bless the people who have to leave for medical reasons halfway through the semester. I don't know how they deal with it.

However, I'm trying to look on the bright side of things. Here's a list:

1. I get a bit of a break.
2. I can help Mom with the business (I always helped her with design development and sales...Half of that involves playing with fire)
3. Since the business is reliant on travel, I'll be traveling a lot more, which is actually something I've been dying to do.
 
Yet in any case, this was not planned. I wouldn't be talking about the whole transferring thing otherwise. But, it happened, and all I can do is roll with it.

You know what? I'm ending this entry with a quote from a hobbit. It's a bit happier than the post itself and it's somewhat fitting about how crazy life can get. Besides, it fits my fancy right about now.


"It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you might be swept off to." - Bilbo Baggins

Let The Countdown Begin.

Yep, life is changing folks, as it normally does.

I was one of the lucky souls who happened to get a housing assignment at UMass. So, at 12:01am this morning, I was on the verge of dancing in the street. No one would have seen my horrible dancing anyhow. However, after I was relieved, I was instantly overcome with the feeling of "Oh Shit." Based on my calendar of when I need to get stuff done, I have 17 days left here before I go back home to Lancaster. In that sense, I  started to panic.

"Ok, who do I need to hang out with? What did I want to do before the summer was done? Crap, I wanted to go and see my brother and sister, that ain't happening...Wait, my stuff is in two different sections of the state. I need to gather it all up and figure what I'm bringing. I also need to go to the Doctor's, get my shots up to date...Crap, crap, crap. And Mom wanted to hang out for longer than a weekend, and she does need help with the chickens....Where did my summer go?"

Yep, that's the inner-dialogue I have with myself at 12:05am this morning. Ain't it something? Let me translate for you.

So, at some insane time of night, I started to draw up a schedule of what needed to get done when. I realized that I need at least 2 weeks before school to get the mandatory stuff done. Between moving out of my apartment, gathering my stuff from my boyfriend's and bringing it home, that involves coordination. then, I actually have to go through that stuff, respectively. And going from an apartment back to a dorm means that this will be a task. I wanted to visit my siblings, however, one is in Maine, and the other is in New Jersey. So, that's a logistical nightmare. Then, so I do not get a hold on my account, I need to go to the doctor's and get updated vaccinations. Thanks Massachusetts, I was broke to begin with. And the part about my mom is pretty self-explanatory. Meanwhile, I forgot to add Robby to this equation. Or even other friends. God, I plan things horribly.

So yeah, in 17-18 days, I will be leaving Plymouth. And of course, above all over thoughts, you want to know my biggest concern?

"I only have 3 more chances to win Trivia Night at the Pub!"

And this is why I need some sort of counseling.